A Quest for Love
by laureate04
Summary: She's trying desperately to save a dying relationship, trying her hand at his interests, until a game changes all the rules.
1. Servers

**A/N: Thanks to MsSassyKassie and NaughtyHisBella for beta-ing this crazy attempt at writing something else and making sure not too much of my inner geek got out to confuse you all. I own neither Twilight or World of Warcraft, but I'd be a whole lot richer if I did. I just enjoy both...yes...I'm that much of a weirdo ;-) This story is partially based in reality and a whole lot of made up at the same time. Read. Enjoy. Let me know what you think!**

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_Choose a server? _

_There are different servers? What does that even mean? _ _Akama? Boulderfist? Icecrown? Silvermoon? _ I sit staring blankly at his computer. _This is going to be harder than I thought, I'm in waaayyyy over my head. _

"Hey, Ben?" My voice is a little gravely. I've been sitting here, not speaking for over an hour just staring at his computer. Ben, my boyfriend's roommate, walks over to where I'm sitting and takes a look at what I've been staring at for the last hour of my life.

"Whatcha need, Bella?" he asks.

Ben is such a sweet guy. He has been my boyfriend's best friend since they ended up in the same freshman dorm room 3 years ago. He and his girlfriend, Angela, have been together that long too. We'll be at their wedding soon enough, I'm sure. I used to think that about _us _too. Maybe if I can get this stupid thing figured out, it will help us get back on track.

"Um...I've decided to do this, to give it a shot...but, I don't know what any of it means. Can you give me a hand? I'd like to be done before he gets back from class," I say as I glance at the clock. Shit. Only 2 more hours.

Ben chuckles and shakes his head slightly. "Sure, it's not too hard, just a few little things to figure out." Good old Ben, always willing to help. I knew I could count on him.

"First off," he starts, "you need to decide, are you going to play _with _us?"

"Um, yeah, I'd like to...that's kind of the point, you know?" I reply nervously. I'm feeling less and less sure of this decision every second.

"Okay, so we play on the Bloodhoof server, so you'll need to pick that one." _Easy enough,_ I think as I click the little checkbox next to 'Bloodhoof.' "Next, you need a name and to design your character. What kind of character do you want to play?"

These questions were kind of flying over my head. There are _kinds_ of characters? This really is going to be harder than I thought. "What kind of character should I be? I have no idea what any of this means, Ben." My hands cover my face and I growl lowly in frustration.

"Well, since you're playing with us, you're going to play on the Horde side. That's what we all play and that way we can help you out and do stuff with you. That means you have to chose if you want to play an undead, orc, taruen, or troll. And before you ask, no, trolls are not like those weird little creatures with the pointy hair that you stick on your pencils." He laughs lightly at his own joke, effectively lightening the mood.

"Wow, Ben, um, I don't know about this whole thing - there's so much I just don't get. Are you sure this is a good idea? I'm not even sure you were just speaking English."

"Bella, you have no idea. This is going to be such a turn on for him. I've been trying to get Ange to play for the last 2 years. She's so stubborn, won't even consider it."

"Well, alright then, I guess. Are there any, um, _people_ I can play? Instead of pointy-haired dolls or cows or whatever?"

"There are humans in the game, but you can't play a human, they're _alliance_..." he says with a twinge of disgust to his voice. Apparently I'm supposed to know that this is obviously unacceptable. "But you could play an undead, they were humans once, now they're kinda like zombies," he says and smiles.

"Alright, I guess. That's probably as close as I'm going to get, right?" He nods. "Now what?"

"Now you have to pick what your character does. Do you want to be a fighter or a healer?"

"Well if I'm going to do this, I want to blow some shit up, or whatever it is you do in this game..." I reply with a smirk.

"There's my girl. Let's set you up to 'blow some shit up.' You'll want to play a magical character then, I would suggest a mage. They're magicians and you can throw fireballs and stuff like that. You know what? That's what he plays too, so he'll be able to help you easily and show you the ropes a bit."

Ben was a little like an older brother to me. He was my sounding board when I needed one, and he was the best beer pong partner ever. That is to say, when we could get him to come out of his room and put down his organic chemistry book. That's why he's helping me with this. Ben knows how much this means to me, how much _he _means to me. He wants to see this work, but he also knows just how hard the last 6 months have been.

I'm here almost everyday. Usually I get here and head straight up to his room. My laptop lives here. I have clothes in the bottom drawer of his dresser. We might as well live together, but this is a Jesuit college and campus housing. There is no co-ed housing, besides which, we're both Resident Advisors. We have our floors and buildings to take care of. In fact, that's how we met. Resident Advisor training - 2 years ago. I was a sophomore, he was a junior. We lived across campus from each other, but I offered to let him borrow my markers and construction paper (What? I am an education major...) to work on his bulletin board. I may have offered to help him do it too. That might have been mistake number one. Who knows.

Where did we go wrong? We've been together for 2 years and things, for the most part, have been amazing. He was my first. He is my first. Real boyfriend that is. I know, I know, sophomore year of college and he's my first boyfriend? But, yes, it's true. I was shy in high school. I was the awkward girl who could trip over absolutely nothing in the hallway. Not even tripping over my own two feet; just, nothing at all. I had guy friends, but that never went anywhere. I had crushes. Oh, how I had crushes, but those feelings were never reciprocated. It was beyond frustrating. So when I got to school, I decided that I was going to put myself out there so to speak. I wasn't going to be the shy and awkward girl anymore. Well, there wasn't much I could do about the awkward, but I could talk to people. Yes, that would be a good first step. Talking to people.

_I lived in the freshman girls' dorm. Like I said, Jesuit college, with single sex dorms. This was a great way to make friends and it was how I met Lauren and Jessica, my two 'besties.' But, it wasn't such a great way to meet guys. I wanted step out of my comfort zone even further than my single on the 5th floor allowed. So, I decided to apply to be an RA during my sophomore year. Toward the end of freshman year, when they made their selections for next year's staff, there was a meet-and-greet. A new-staff-meet-old-staff kind of thing, since they'd be helping to train us and we'd be on staff with them. I walked into the basement lounge of one of the dorm buildings on campus, where the party was being held, and saw _him._ Even from across the room, just, wow. It took some time to convince myself, but I decided I was going to talk to him. I was going to walk over there and just...say hi. And I did. The rest, as they say, is history - I suppose. We chatted, then proceeded to go our separate ways home for summer. Well, then, that didn't quite work like I had planned._

_I had almost forgotten about him until I showed up for our week of training before the semester started in the fall. I walked out onto the quad that late August Friday afternoon and saw him again from across the grassy space. I had to remind myself to go say hi. We'd met, we'd chatted for a good hour at the meet-and-greet. But, he probably didn't remember me. I'm forgettable. I look up from my insistent staring at my shoes wondering what he's been up to and he catches my eye. He smiles and waves, then starts walking toward me. _

_His smile is blinding and I instantly feel my cheeks warm. _He remembers me_. I'm not sure how, but he remembers _me_. The rest of the evening is a blur as we play 'get-to-know-you' name games and eat burgers and hotdogs as a staff. The week of training was intense to say the least. We were scheduled from 7am until at least 7pm every night. On top of that we had bulletin boards and door tags and students to get ready for. By the time Thursday night rolled around, I was exhausted. We'd been learning policy and counseling techniques. We had walked and run. We'd been carted around to different facilities on campus to learn where they were and what they did. We practiced with fire extinguishers on the quad. We even went on field trips to places nearby that could host our floor programs. It was fun and tiring and enlightening and overwhelming all at the same time. All the while I'd been watching _him_ and wishing. _

_I was wishing that he'd notice me as I had him. I was wishing that somehow he'd want to get to know me. Although I knew that was preposterous. He was popular and gorgeous and an upperclassman. There was no way that he'd want anything to do with me. Although, he did say hi to me that first night. Thursday afternoon, we were at a workshop about campus security or something, I can't remember exactly now, when it happened. He walked over to me as we were gathering our things to leave and asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie later that night. My mind was reeling. Was he seriously asking _me_ if I wanted to spend time...alone...with him? _

"_Uh...I mean...yeah, sure, that sounds great. What time?" I stumbled through a rambling, almost incoherent response. _

"_How about 8? I'm in room 212 over in the guys' building. Your card will get you in the building. Perk of being an RA." He winked at me and smiled. We exchanged numbers in case I had problems getting in the building._

"_Sure, sounds good. I'll be there." _

_After dinner I'd rushed back to my room to shower and change. We had been running around in the August Chicago heat all day and I felt gross. No way I was going to hang out with him feeling like I did. I put on a cute but comfortable outfit and was just about ready to walk out the door when I heard my phone beep, letting me know I had a text._

_ Hey, you don't happen to have any markers I could borrow, do you? I was _

_hoping to have this bulletin board done before you came over, but my red and blue _

_markers just died. If you have some, would you mind bringing them over?_

_Now, this was something I could do. I could help him. That might make him really notice. I'm an education major. Of course I have markers. I typed out a quick reply, grabbed my mega-pack of Crayola classic markers, some construction paper, just in case, and headed out the door._

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. Thinking back on where this all started always made me sentimental. I loved how we met and got to know each other, I loved how knowing him had opened me up to knowing others and making a huge group of great friends. I got along amazingly well with his roommates, and his residents. It was a fairytale beginning.

Ben cleared his throat lightly. He'd been used to me getting lost in my thoughts lately, as memories and worries about my relationship riddled my brain. There was a huge part of me that really wanted this to work out. I loved him. We talked about our eventual marriage. We talked about the future. But, somewhere, there was a part of me that was worried about what would happen if it didn't work. He was so totally interwoven in my life that I was afraid of this _not_ working. My friends were his friends, my plans were his plans. Somewhere along the way I'd lost myself. But I did love him, or so I thought, and so I was willing to try just about anything to make it work.

"Bella, you're sure about this right? You don't have to do anything you don't want to. This is supposed to be fun. It's a game, for God's sake. It should be fun, not stressful. Relax. Everything will be fine. I've known him for quite a while, and he's never been as happy as he has been now that he's with you."

I let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, like this is going to backfire in my face or something. I know he's been happy. I have too, just these last few months have been different somehow. I can't seem to put my finger on it."

"I'm sure he's stressed out too, Bella. Graduation is a big deal and I'm sure him having no idea what he really wants to do after isn't helping things. Just give him a little time and it'll all work out. Besides, if it doesn't, he's an idiot and you aren't going to lose us as friends Bella. But we don't need to even think about that cause you'll be fine. He'll love that you're doing this for him. Trust me."

I smiled at Ben. He always knew just what to say to make me feel better. He pulled his desk chair over to the computer and helped me through the rest of the set-up process. I created my character, who I named Bellena, because I'm super creative like that, and Ben showed me some of the basic functions of the game. I learned how to target and hit enemy creatures and where to get supplies. I also learned how to pick up quests. I couldn't help but giggle to myself as I picked up my first series of tasks to complete. This whole playing the game thing was kind of like my own quest. A quest for love.

About an hour later, when he came back from class, he wasn't surprised to see me in his room, or even at his computer, as this often was a scene he found when returning from class. Our schedules were almost polar opposite so we each got a lot of our school work done when the other was in class. That left us most of our off-time together. He smiled slightly and leaned down to give me a peck on the cheek. As his head turned I saw his eyes grow wide, taking in what was happening on the computer screen.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, and for the review I know you'll leave. There won't be a posting schedule for this but as of right now I have the whole thing planned out...but we'll see where these two take me. It's loosely based on some true stuff with a whole lot of fanfic spin thrown in for fun.**

**Who do you think _he _is?**


	2. Disconnect

**A/N: I have to say thank you again to my beautiful betas, SassyKassie and NaughtyHisBella. They keep my geek in check and my commas in place. Ladies - I love you both - my fellow Perv-sketeers. Also, thank you to the lovely readers who have decided to join this journey with me. I truly have enjoyed the reviews and comments and I hope to keep you entertained as we take this journey together. One more time, I own neither Twilight or World of Warcraft, but I do have copies of both. See you at the bottom!**

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The quick peck he'd been leaning in for forgotten, he sputtered out a hushed "what are you doing?" as he watched my little zombie avatar run around the screen.

"What? Oh, this? Just playing some WoW." I shrugged, feigning some level of innocence. Ben had informed me that it wasn't cool to call it 'World of Warcraft' or any version of that, and that he and the guys simply referred to it as 'WoW.'

"Why are you...? I mean, how did you...? What?" It was actually kind of cute when he stumbled over his words like that.

"Well, I know that you really like it and you and the guys have a great time playing. I thought maybe it would be something else we could share. You know, kind of like how you're always bugging me to join you guys in your Halo and FIFA tournaments on the Xbox."

"Seriously? You're really going to try playing? That's great, babe. I mean, you don't _have_ to..." he added, almost as an afterthought.

"Nope, I want to. I want to share this with you because I know it's important to you. That and with you not being here next year, it'll give us something else to hold onto while I get through my senior year. Another connection for us."

"Babe, that's really sweet. I can't believe you're going to try this for me. You hate video games."

"It's not necessarily that I hate video games. I hate that I suck at video games. I hate that I spend half the time we play Halo laying on the ground dead and the other half running around not knowing where anyone is - but acting as the world's best moving target. But I think it's the controllers I can't handle, using the keyboard for this one I can do. See?" I started running toward the next bad guy that I needed to attack and firing. I had to admit it, throwing fireballs at stuff and watching it blow up was kind of cathartic, in a weird, demented sort of way.

He chuckled from behind me, pulling over the extra chair from their room. "Show me what you can do, babe."

We spent most of the rest of the evening holed up in his room playing around with my character. He showed me some special tricks and I showed him how far I'd gotten in the time while he was still at class. As much as I hated to admit it, the game _was_ kind of fun and I wasn't really half bad. The keyboard controls were much easier for me to handle as I did a lot of typing for school papers and I felt more comfortable with my muscle memory for this than a console game controller. I could never remember where X or A or Square or Triangle were on the damn things.

Later that night, curled up in his tiny extra-long, standard-issue, college-dorm twin bed. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, he leaned over and kissed the side of my neck, just below my ear, and whispered "thank you." Smiling, I drifted off to one of the most restful nights' sleep I'd had in months.

~QFL~

In the beginning this crazy scheme seemed to be working. The game was yet another something we could talk about together and he seemed to really enjoy that I now understood the previously foreign language he and the guys would speak relentlessly. We would play together nights when I was stuck in my room on RA duty or when I was just too tired to trek across campus. The game has its own built in chat, so we could talk and play together at the same time. It brought us closer.

Over breaks, when we couldn't see each other as often as we would have liked, we would play from our respective houses and chat online. It really was doing wonders for our relationship. That was, until we came back from spring break later that year.

His graduation was looming in front of us as late March arrived. There were no more vacations, no more "next years" ahead, things were going to be different this time around. Unsure of what he wanted to do with his business degree, the stress of life after graduation changed things significantly in our relationship. He was different. Less affectionate. He seemed always on edge.

I would often meet him and our friends after his last class in the afternoon for dinner in the campus cafeteria. One day, I arrived about 15 minutes late, having had to stop by the Residence Life office to drop off some paperwork related to an incident I'd dealt with on duty the night before. It was the first opportunity that I had to get to the office, and the paperwork really needed to be filed before they left for the day. When I walked up to the cafeteria building, I knew something was wrong.

"Where in God's name have you been?" He was seething. I checked my watch, noting that I was really only 15 minutes later than usual.

"I had to stop by Res. Life and file that report about the weirdo we had escorted off campus last night. That guy was a total creeper and I have no idea why he was hanging around the girls' dorm like that, but I didn't like it. He was like 40 too - a bunch of my girls were really scared."

"Well, whatever. You're late. I don't like to have to wait, you know that. I can't believe I've had to wait around here for 15 minutes like an idiot just standing here."

"You could have gone in, you know. I'm sure everyone else is here already. We always sit in the same place. I would have found you. That's what we always do when we're running late. Sorry I wasn't here, but it's not a huge deal."

I stared at him for quite a while, trying to figure out his reaction. He'd never been like this before and the anger was way out of character for him. After a few seconds, he shook his head slowly and a small smile spread on his face.

"Nevermind. It's fine. I was just worried about you is all. I'm sure you're right and everyone else is here, so let's go eat." He reached out to me, interlacing his fingers with mine, and stepped in line.

Grabbing our trays, we headed to our usual spot where Ben and Angela, Eric, Tyler, and James were already seated. James looked up as we approached and scooted over, making room for me on the U shaped bench that wrapped one side of the table.

"Thanks, James. Sorry we're late - I got held up at Res. Life," I said, greeting the table as a whole.

"No worries, Bella, we were just talking about this weekend. We're thinking some serious drinking is in order," James replied. I looked to my right just in time to notice his eyes flick up to my face from their previous line of sight on my chest.

"Uh, sounds good to me. It's been a hell of a week. Did I tell you guys about the Peeping Tom we had to have escorted off campus last night?"

I told the story to the group, keeping the names of my residents to myself, but not sparing any of the sordid details. All the while, my boyfriend's hand rested on my knee under the table, his thumb gently stroking my skin. I was really enjoying that it was again getting warm enough for skirts and shorts - even if it wasn't an everyday thing yet.

The rest of dinner was light and fun as we discussed the party we were planning for Friday night. We'd decided on a pirate theme and there would, of course, be beer pong and flip cup. Maybe even a game of Never Have I Ever or Kings would make an appearance as well.

"Pirate Bar," as we called it, was one of our favorite drinking nights. Everyone wore eye patches and bandanas and we played with foam swords. General debauchery was a given, and by the end of the night there were beer cans and red Solo cups littering the floor of the guys' suite.

As the end of the night rolled around, I was starting to pick up some of the trash and neaten up the place. Friends were leaving and the guys were all finding their way to their respective beds. Ange and I were in the kitchen rinsing out beer cans and bagging them up to be recycled, apparently finding the whole process hilarious because we couldn't stop laughing. Either that or maybe we were just really, really drunk. It might have been a little of both.

"Will you two keep it down? For God's sake, we're trying to sleep over here." My boyfriend's voice bellowed from his room of the suite, and it was even more hilarious to my drunken ears. I started laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. I'm a pretty happy drunk.

"We're cleaning up _your _freaking suite. You should be _thanking _us! You'll be happy to not have to deal with it in the morning!" Amazingly, all this shouting did nothing to disturb the rest of the passed out boys.

Stumbling out of his room, he approached me slowly, a strange darkness to his eyes.

"I said, stop yelling! I'm drunk. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. You two are making way too much fucking noise out here and I can't sleep. Stop cleaning and come to bed."

His anger now was not nearly as amusing. I was kind of pissed off, actually. "I'm cleaning your fucking suite so you guys don't have to in the morning. But you know what? I'm done for tonight anyway. And I'm not coming to bed. Not if you're going to be like that. I'm going back to my room."

I grabbed my sweatshirt and my bag and stormed out the door, making sure to slam it behind me, making as much noise as possible.

I jogged down the steps and once I got outside the door to the building, I stopped to throw my sweatshirt over my head. It was still rather chilly at night and I had a trek all the way across campus ahead of me.

"Bella?"

"Ah! Fuck! James, you scared the shit out of me! What the hell are you doing here still? I thought you left a while ago."

"Sorry about that. I should have waited til your head wasn't stuck in your sweatshirt anymore. Guess I'm not thinking straight," he slurred, tapping his temple with his index finger.

"Yeah, well apparently no one is right now. I think we tipped the scales from fun drunks to belligerent drunks somewhere in the last little while," I replied, anger evident in my voice.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"He's just being an ass is what. Told me and Ange we were being too loud when we were cleaning so I got pissed and left. I mean, what the fuck? I'm cleaning up for HIM, in HIS suite, so HE doesn't have to and I get shit about giggling a little with my friend? What the fuck is up with that?!" Angry Bella was often sweary Bella.

"He said that? Sometimes he's a total douche..." he trailed off, lost in his thoughts for a minute. "Uh, Bella, can I be honest with you for a minute?"

"Of course, James. What's up?"

"Bella, I honestly think he's kind of an asshole. Really. I love this group of guys and we're all best friends, but he doesn't treat you like he should. He takes advantage. You deserve more than that. Most of the time he's one of my best friends, but there are certain things that I don't agree with and one is the way that he treats you."

To say I was stunned by this confession was an understatement. James and I were friends in the sense that we hung out with the same group of people, but very seldom did we talk outside of that. We rarely did anything together without the rest of the group, except for the couple of times we were the only ones to show up for dinner. And let me tell you, that was more like an awkward blind date than two friends having dinner - stilted conversation and awkward silences and all. This new, bold James seemed different. Maybe he was taking advantage of the liquid courage, as they say.

"James, it's fine, seriously. We just had a little fight. We had too much to drink and neither one of us is thinking clearly. I'm sure it'll all look different in the morning. I'm fine, really."

He stared at me for a long time, not even blinking, as if he was trying to tell if I was being honest or not. I shivered, but I'm not sure if it was the chill in the air or his stare that made it happen. Either way, the next thing I knew, his hands were running up and down the lengths of my arms, which hung limply at my sides, as if he were trying to warm them up, except he was moving too slowly to create the heated friction.

My mind was working almost as slowly as his hands, the alcohol mixing with the chill in the air to make everything just a little bit fuzzy and swirly. Before I realized it, James had intertwined his fingers with mine and tugged on my arms, pulling me flush against him and was leaning down, eyes focused on my lips. Just in time, I realized his intentions and ripped my hands from his grasp, relocating them to his chest and pushing backward with all that I had in me in my drunken state. He took a sloppy step back, almost tripping on the edge of the walkway, but caught himself.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I screeched.

"Uh, what? Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I uh...I um...shit. Bella look. Just let me explain, okay?"

"You better get to it quick because I'm not in the mood to deal with any more shit tonight." My breaths were coming fast and hard with the adrenaline that seemed to be sobering me up more quickly than any cold shower or strong cup of coffee could ever do. All of a sudden the night was seemingly crystal clear.

"I uh, I mean...shit. Fuck it. I'm just going to lay it all out there okay? I think he's an asshole and I think you deserve so much better than him. These last few months he's been different. He expects too much from you. He's always angry and then apologizing. Like earlier this week at the caf, when he was all upset that you were late. That shit never would have bothered him before. I don't know what his deal is, but I don't like it and I don't like the way that you're putting up with it. You deserve better. I could be better for you. Fuck. Bella, I have feelings for you, okay? And I can't just sit around and watch him with you because he has what I want and is wasting it. He's treating you like crap. I thought maybe if I could make you see me, you'd realize, but he's got his hooks in you so deep, I guess it was never in the cards for me, was it?"

I was shocked. Utterly unsure of what to think of what I'd just heard. James had feelings for me? He thought he could be better for me? Better to me?

"James, I love him. I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me, I truly do, but I've just never seen you that way. You're my friend and that's really all it will ever be. I'm in a relationship - with one of your best friends at that. We can't do this. I can't do this. I have to go."

My head was spinning again, but this time it wasn't the alcohol. I was as sober as could be as I spun on my heel, my bag swinging around behind me, and stormed off in the direction of my building. James was walking behind me, but at least he had a few brain cells left because he didn't try to touch me or speak to me. He did, however, follow me all the way across campus to my dorm, I'm assuming to make sure I made it back okay, although I can't be sure, as we never spoke of that night again. We continued to hang out together, eat dinner at the caf with the group, and spend weekends drinking with our friends, but we never talked about the almost kiss or his feelings for me.

~QFL~

The following morning, I woke up with a pounding head still dressed in my jeans and hoodie, laying on top of my bed. I knew it felt like there was a gnome living inside my brain attempting to excavate space with a pickaxe, but that wasn't what woke me, it was a different incessant banging that brought me out of my slumber.

I mumbled something that I think resembled "coming" and rolled off of my comforter. I'm sure my hair was a sight after having apparently passed out as soon as I got back to my room last night. I straightened my sweatshirt and stumbled my way to the door, barely cracking it because I knew the light in the hallway would be much brighter than my intense hangover would allow me to tolerate. Standing on the other side of the door were my two best friends, Lauren and Jessica, armed with fast food breakfast bags and what smelled like a deliciously strong cup of coffee. They pushed their way past and made themselves at home on my bed, tempting me with food and caffeine. I grabbed a sandwich from the bag as I sat down, suddenly famished.

"So, spill. What happened last night?"

"Mmmmmm," I moaned around the greasy breakfast sandwich. "What are you talking about?"

"Well," Lauren started, "you came back here at like 2:00 this morning and you were talking to yourself and swearing, then you tripped over absolutely nothing in the hallway, which wouldn't be so strange, except you actually fell over outside the elevator. Then you were banging open drawers and what we assume were your closet doors and then all of a sudden it was dead quiet. We were actually a little worried for a few minutes, until we stood outside your door and could hear you snoring a little bit. We figured you just fell asleep."

"So, what the hell was that all about? When you said you were drinking with the guys and Ange, we didn't expect to see you back here." Jessica raised one eyebrow accusingly, knowing something was going on.

"Nothing really..." I started.

"Bullshit! You hardly ever sleep here, and you were still dressed when you answered the door. We want the truth, not your watered down, nothing happened, crap story." Lauren was never one to mince her words, that's for sure.

"Well, really nothing happened until the end of the night. We were having one of our Pirate Bar nights and everything was great. Ben and I kicked ass at beer pong, as usual," I smirked at them both, "we played a hilarious game of Never Have I Ever. It was a great night. Then, Ange and I were cleaning up afterward and things got a little out of control."

The look both of them were giving me told me they knew this had to do with my boyfriend. Neither Lauren nor Jess was very fond of him and weren't afraid to tell me that at every chance they got.

"What the hell did he say to you, Bella?"

"Nothing really, he just told us we were being loud and keeping him awake. Ange and I were laughing our asses off over dishes, for some God unknown reason. I told him that we were trying to help him, and his stupid drunken self said that he didn't care or whatever, so I got mad and left."

Jess huffed and started in on me. "Bella I've told you before, he's an ass. You do so much for this guy and get like absolutely nothing in return. Are you crazy?"

"Can I finish, please? God, you're always so quick to jump when I tell you something about him, that wasn't even why I was so upset. In fact, by the time I got home I was over that part of things. We were being loud. Should he have been that upset? No, but we were all drunk and you both know as well as I do that we aren't necessarily in our right minds when we drink." I sighed, exasperated with Jess's constant badgering about my relationship. "Anyway. What had me so flustered when I got back was James."

"What do you mean James had you flustered?" Lauren asked, confused. I never talked much about James because he was always just a part of the larger group.

"So when I left the guys' suite, he was outside. I ended up talking to him about why I was mad, which really helped and I was actually pretty calm for a second. But then he tried to kiss me and went on to tell me how he was in love with me and how he basically thinks I'm a fool for staying in this relationship and all that. I have never, ever seen him in that way or felt that way about him and it really threw me, so I left."

"Holy shit, he didn't! He didn't play the 'you-should-date-me-not-him' game with you! No way." Jess was truly in shock at this revelation.

"Yep. He did. So I made it back here, he followed me by the way, but didn't come in, I think he was trying to make sure I made it back okay, but I'm not sure," I said, shaking my head to clear it. "Anyway, I came up here and was looking for pajamas, I think, and then I just fell asleep, I was so tired."

"Wow. I don't even know what to say, B. What are you going to do?" Lauren asked.

"Ignore it and hope it goes away. I can't deal with him right now. I was _very_ clear about how I felt so I'm just going to let it be. Besides, he graduates in like a month too and then he'll be gone."

The girls and I hung out for the rest of the morning, as it was Saturday and we didn't have classes or work, chatting and having some laughs. By the time they left, my hangover was gone and I was feeling much better, but something that James had said was bothering me.

Over the next few weeks, as graduation rushed closer and closer, I started to notice more and more little things here and there. Getting angry if I was running late, wanting me to bring him lunch or dinner before or after class if he had somewhere to be, suddenly needing me to drive him places, and even getting upset if I had to work or run a floor program for my residents rather than spend time with him. I wasn't entirely sure if I hadn't noticed this all before or if something had changed, but James' drunken words that one night floated relentlessly through the back of my mind. _He expects too much from you. _ _He's always angry and then apologizing._ _ I don't like the way that you're putting up with it. You deserve better._

All the while I kept playing my mage character, taking out my increasing frustration on the creatures in the game, getting better and better at it all the time. It truly became my escape from all the things I didn't want to face. The possibility that so many things in my life were about to change was something I didn't want to think about, so I didn't. The unfortunate part was that, whether I wanted to or not, graduation all of a sudden was right around the corner.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and for the reviews I just know you're going to leave. I'm shooting for another update next weekend - we'll see how that goes. Thanks again!**


	3. Instance

**A/N: I must say thank you to everyone who has been reading this silly little tale of mine. I hope your interest is piqued. Also, thank you so much to my wonderful and talented betas, SassyKassie and NaughtyHisBella, who keep my geek in check and my thoughts focused (even if we aren't when we're working). I love you ladies! This wouldn't be without you. Enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think when you get to the end!**

* * *

As I sat in one of the cold, hard seats that ringed the arena before the ceremony started, I couldn't imagine what next year was going to be like. My boyfriend and the guys had been my friends for the majority of my time at college and now they were all moving on to jobs and other things, leaving me behind. My being a year younger than the rest of the group had never been a problem, but I really wasn't sure what my senior year would hold for me with the gang gone.

Before I could get too deeply lost in my thoughts, music began to play and lines of figures dressed in long robes and mortarboards began to file into the center of the arena. Speeches passed in a hazy blur, with notions of going out and changing the world. I never would understand graduation speeches, as they were always oddly the same. And yet, we all know that most of those graduating today will be working in careers that they hate, or at least simply tolerate, for the next 40 years until they retire, without enough savings to really live on. I never put too much stock into these cliched little diddies.

I zoned into and out of the ceremony from time to time, following along in my program to figure out when we would get to the only part that I cared about - watching my friends walk across the stage, holding their heads up proud.

Ben was the first of the group to cross the stage, his last name starting with C and all. I clapped and yelled. Tyler followed shortly afterward, crossing the stage with a quick wave in our general direction. Everyone's families had decided to sit together in the arena as we'd all be going to dinner after graduation, before the guys had to go back to campus and pick up their stuff. Everyone else, besides the seniors and the RA staff had already moved off campus. Luckily, I was allowed to stay on since I was part of the Residence Life staff that would be checking all the seniors out of their housing and collecting their keys as they left campus over the weekend.

The name Michael Newton snapped me back to attention at the stage as I watched my boyfriend shake hands with the dean of the business school and collect his diploma. He looked in our direction as he crossed the stage and winked, I'm thinking at me, and threw in a little wave before making his way back to his seat. I clapped and cheered, along with the rest of his family, who were surrounding me on the rows of bolted down seating. Ben's mom was clapping behind me as well, and Ange's brother whistled loudly just next to my ear, making me cringe as I tried to continue clapping.

The rest of our group crossed the stage, accepting their super-expensive pieces of paper from the deans of their respective schools and we all sat, somewhat impatiently, for the final speeches and rounds of applause. The graduates threw their caps up in celebration and I watched as the fluttering black squares floated back to waiting hands. Then, there was chaos. Everyone in the stands began to pick up their waiting purses and programs and shuffle in slow moving lines towards the exits. The graduates began to file back to the staging area to claim left behind belongings and then attempted to join their loved ones outside. I stuck close to Mike's parents, as I'd ridden to the arena with them, and stumbled my way through the throngs of people in search of the same thing I was - their precious, college-graduate, loved one.

We had selected a spot across the street as a meeting point, and slowly, but surely the whole group reunited under a large oak tree. Hugs were shared and congratulations were spoken and we all decided that it was time for food. Separating to our respective vehicles, we all proceeded in the agonizingly slow streams of traffic toward the restaurant.

Rounds of drinks were purchased, food was gobbled down, and laughs and stories were shared. Dinner was a bittersweet, memory filled night that I wouldn't soon forget. I was happy there with my away-from-home family. The boys, their parents, the people that I'd spent the last three years of my life connected and attached to, and Mike, my boyfriend, my first real love.

Over the course of the weekend the boys moved out of their suite, one by one. Teary goodbyes were shared with each of them. Hugs and promises of visits over the summer were passed around. Deep down, however, I knew that things would never quite be the same.

Mike left on Saturday evening for home. He'd extended his stay as long as he could and eventually, it was the time I'd been dreading. We'd done summers before, that was nothing new, but the 10 weeks of summer seemed a lot shorter when we knew what we'd be facing, together, on the other side. This time was different. He was leaving, and I'd be back in August, alone. Sure, I'd have Lauren and Jessica, but things certainly wouldn't be the same.

The last one left in the suite was Ben. I had my tiny dorm all packed and I was ready to check out myself and head home on Sunday afternoon, but Ben was remaining on campus for an extra month for a summer course that was part of his program. Sunday morning we met up for one last brunch and the 'big-brother' talk that I needed so badly.

"Bella, what's wrong? You've been so, well, not you, all week. What's going on?"

I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it but I knew, deep down, that I needed to. "I just don't know what all this means, Ben. Seriously. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next year with all of you gone - it's not going to be the same. Being a year behind you guys has never mattered like this before and I guess I'm just not dealing well with it right now. Besides, I have this pit in my stomach. Things have been so...off...with me and Mike lately that I'm feeling like this distance and uncertainty is the last thing that we need. I can't handle all this change all at once."

He chuckled lightly at me, earning a death glare from my side of the table. "Bella, no one said this was going to be easy. We are kind of all losing each other too. It's the way of college though, it's like the ultimate test of friendship. I'm sure that you, like so many of us, felt the same way after high school too. Leaving behind friends that you'd been friends with forever and some you've kept in touch with and some you haven't. Bella, we all love you like the little sister you are to us, well all but Mike. If he loved you like a sister, that'd be a little strange." His attempt at lightening up the situation had me giggling lightly. This is why I loved Ben so much. "But seriously, you're not going to lose us just because we've graduated. We're your family now."

Ben always knew exactly what I needed to hear. And while the rest of our brunch was much lighter, a tear-filled goodbye followed back at their suite. I pushed my time a lot, and by the time I finally got through checking out and loading up the rest of my totes and bins in my car, I was going to be arriving home rather late. Not that I minded. Every minute I got to spend on campus and with my friends was a plus in my book.

~QFL~

Summer quickly fell into it's somewhat normal routine. I worked at my summer job back home, bagging groceries for hungry customers. I took a couple of online summer courses to continue working toward my extra minors that I was pursuing, especially since I was losing an entire semester this coming year to student teaching, when I wouldn't be taking any classes. I played a whole lot of World of Warcraft. The boys also continued to play in their free time while settling in back at home and looking for jobs, so I kept telling myself I was playing to keep in touch and stay connected to my friends. I didn't want to admit to anyone, much less myself, how much I actually enjoyed the game.

I spent all of my free time attached to my keyboard, completing quests and earning gear and experience. I really did quite enjoy making my little avatar run around the screen and blow up the bad guys with fireballs and other assorted magic. And, as it turns out, I was pretty decent too. I had joined the same guild as the guys, but they didn't have as much free time as I did since they were beginning careers and adjusting to 'adult' life. Happily, the guild we played in was filled with a number of like-minded players who were happy to accept me into their group and keep me busy.

I realized quickly that the game had become a distraction for me, from all that was going on in my own life. Mike had gone home after graduation and we kept up pretenses with our relationship, especially early on, but things had definitely changed, especially after he'd walked across that stage.

~QFL~

Although we didn't know each other before meeting at college, we oddly enough lived only about an hour from each other when we were "home." After the end of school, Mike constantly wanted me to drive to his parents' place to visit him, putting both the miles and gas burden solely on me and my car. Because I wanted desperately to make this relationship work, I conceded. I would drive out whenever the time would be worth it, no matter the weather or time of day. Lots of times, he would try to convince me to stay at his place overnight to give us more time, but with work and my online classes that wasn't often possible. Not to mention, sleeping in his parents' house with them right down the hall was beyond my definition of awkward. Don't get me wrong, I loved his family, but I just couldn't imagine sleeping with my boyfriend down the hallway from two people that I looked at like a second set of my own parents.

The demands were getting to be too much. I was constantly driving back and forth to his house, and when I got there I was told that I'd taken too long or that I wasn't there when he was expecting me. I didn't know what to do. At this point, I was struggling to maintain my sanity.

Playing the game on evenings when logistics wouldn't let me drive to Mike's was my escape. I took out my frustrations on the poor creatures of the game and let myself get lost in the new friendships I was making. Many nights a group of us would find ourselves in the wee hours of the morning, running instances that went so badly because we were all laughing too hard at each other to pay attention to what we were doing. Instances are specific locations in the game where a group of players, five or ten or twenty-five most often, enter a series of encounters with the goal of defeating a number of high level enemies by working together. We would often come back from a wipe, or an occasion where all of our characters died trying to defeat one of the creatures, try to be all serious about paying attention and getting things done, only to have one member of the group run off by themselves and get us all killed all over again.

Some nights I laughed until I cried, some nights I got barely any sleep because we stayed up and played until 3 or 4 in the morning running instances and getting ourselves killed, some nights I didn't even notice that Mike wasn't even on.

My normal group online consisted of Jake, Riley, Victoria, Bree, and Marcus. There were many more people in the guild, and I played with them as well, but these guys became my best friends in-game. There was almost always some combination of us on that made for a good group to run instances with, or we would just help each other out with quests and collecting needed materials in the game.

Summer thankfully passed quickly, and aside from the strain it put on my already strained relationship, the distance wasn't so bad. I still talked to the guys, I saw Mike as much as I could, and I saved up the money that wasn't going toward gas in my car, to use for school.

As August rolled around, I got my letter from school confirming my housing with Jess and Lauren and the date I needed to be back for my yearly Resident Advisor training. Something else that wouldn't quite be the same this time around.

It amazed me how easy the transition back to campus life was. This was my senior year and my fourth year away from home and my parents. I knew that after being so used to the freedom afforded at school, and having been back under their roof this summer, I didn't want to return home after this school year was over if I could help it. I loved my parents dearly, and they allowed me a lot leeway to do what I wanted, but it just wasn't the same as living on my own at school. Classes began and I knew this was the last of my "real" college experience as I'd be teaching in the spring and basically going off to work everyday like a grown up or something crazy like that. I relished wearing sweatpants to class and sleeping in on days I didn't have class til 10. I stayed up late with the girls, drinking wine and talking about boys. I stayed up even later playing Warcraft with my online friends. Senior year was going great, until it wasn't.

I lived about an hour and a half from school and that meant that Mike lived only about thirty minutes away. A few weekends he would come to see me at school, without warning, and he was always mad that I had to work my on-campus job at the bookstore during his time visiting. I tried to explain to him that I was both happy to see him and happy to take a weekend off here and there, but that I had to know ahead of time which weekends those should be. I certainly thought that was a reasonable request, but apparently I was wrong. One Friday night in early October told me just how wrong I was.

"Jesus, Bella, I just want to spend time with my girlfriend when I'm here. I don't want to spend half my weekend sitting in your room, trying to stay out of your roommates' way, while you're not even here because you're at frickin' work. I don't think spending time with me should be such a burden to you!"

"Calm down, Mike. Spending time with you isn't a burden. When the hell did I ever say that? Huh? Oh, that's right, I didn't. I just said that if you want me to be off of work I need to know in time to get someone to cover my shifts. That's all - it's not a big deal and I'm not sure why you're making it one."

"I'm not the one making it a big deal. Call in sick or don't work on Saturdays or something, it's an easy solution."

"Mike I can't just 'not work Saturdays or something,' I need this job to pay for my books and for school. I don't think asking for you to let me know when you're coming up is too much of a request. You're so unreasonable lately. It's kind of starting to piss me off, actually."

He snorted in response to that. "Why do you need to know when I'm coming up? Are you hiding something from me? Find yourself someone else here on campus or something? I really think you're the one being unreasonable."

"Mike, what the _fuck_ are you talking about?! What in God's name makes you think that I'm seeing someone else. You come to see me while I'm at work when I'm here. I've _never_, in the three years we've been together, never once lied to you. You're acting like a crazy person. You don't want to tell me when you're coming to see me. You refuse to understand that I actually _need_ my job to pay for school and that it's not just something I do for shits and giggles. I don't know what the hell I did to you for you to treat me like this."

With that, James' words from that fateful night last year came back to me. _You deserve better._

"I deserve better than this, Mike. I love you, I really do, but you've been treating me like shit lately and it's calling everything into question. I'm not happy. At least in this relationship I'm not. I love my friends and I love school, and I'm so excited for student teaching, but I can't really concentrate on any of it because I'm always on edge because of you, wondering what's going to piss you off next. I don't think I can do that anymore."

"Bella, I love you, you know that, I just get frustrated because I want to spend time with you when I am here. I know you're not seeing anyone else, I didn't really mean that, I just, I don't know. I feel like things have been strained between us lately and I don't know how to handle that."

"They're strained because you're being an ass. I'm not happy in this relationship, and I'm not happy with you, and I just can't handle any more of this, this, whatever the hell is going on between us. I've never been anything but honest with you and I've never done anything but try to make you happy and this is how I'm treated in return. You know what? James was right. I do deserve better than this. Better than the way you treat me lately. I used to be happy, so fucking happy with you - you were all I thought about. I only wanted to spend time with you, and now I almost dread when you're going to show up because I know it's going to be a fight and drama and I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm done."

"You know what? I'm not happy either. I can't deal with someone who doesn't want to spend time with me. I'm done too. You're right, this isn't working. I'm done. We're done. It's over."

With that he grabbed his bag that was still sitting by his feet, slammed the door, and stomped down the hallway. I heard the elevator ding and the doors slide closed behind him and it was then that I sunk down the wall I'd been leaning against and began to cry.

Surprisingly, I cried for all of 5 minutes. I think it was more the coming down from the adrenaline of finally telling him exactly how I felt than the actual breakup that brought out the tears. I got up and headed to the bathroom to splash some cool water on my face and I felt light for the first time in over a year. Considering that, I thought back and remembered that I was almost to the one year anniversary of sitting in his suite, at his computer desk, setting up my little World of Warcraft mage to try to rebuild our relationship. The irony of that being the one place I wanted to be did not escape me.

After drying off my face, I changed into my favorite pajama pants and hopped online. Putting my headset on I connected to the voice chat for the guild and logged into my little zombie-mage. I checked my character mail and was just getting ready to go complete some daily quests, to get lost in the world of Azeroth, when a private message popped up on my screen.

_Culana says: Hey, we need a 5th for an instance. You want in?_

This is why I loved this guild - everyone was also so welcoming and willing to help each other out.

_Bellena says: Sure. I think I need to kill some stuff tonight._

_Culana says: Haha. That's what we're here for. Everything ok?_

_Bellena says: Actually...I think it will be. Let's do this._

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**A/N: Hmmm...who could it be? Let's do this, huh? Anyone else wanna...do this? **

**Notes and assorted references:**

**- A mage is a magical offensive character in WoW. Think: sorcerer.**

**- Azeroth is the "world" of World of Warcraft. There are different zones within Azeroth where you play.**

**- An instance is a "sealed" part of the game. Most of the time you're interacting with all other players on your server in your area at that time. In an instance, only members of your group are active in that particular zone/combat area. This ensures that others cannot impede your ability to complete the objective. Of course it doesn't mean you can't get in your own way.**

**- All character names that I used were unused character names at the time that this story was created - they are not characters currently in use in the World of Warcraft universe. I do not own the character names, nor do I aim to include anyone actually playing the game in this craziness. **

**If there is anything else in this geeky world that you're confused about or wasn't clear here, please feel free to ask - I'll be happy to explain!**

**Thank you again for reading and for being an awesome audience. And thanks in advance for the reviews I know you're going to leave! You all are the best - and until next time, thank you!**


	4. Greens

**A/N:**

**I don't own Twilight or World of Warcraft. I also don't own the WoW character names and as of the writing of this story they're not in use in the game.**

**Super huge thanks to my lovely betas...MsSassyKassie and Naughty...I love you girls - and this story wouldn't be happening without you! **

**I apologize for the HUGE delay in the posting of this chapter...I'm just gonna say that we all know how real life gets sometimes and leave it at that. I shall try to keep things going a little better now that I'm back on a roll...**

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Where we left off:

_**Bellena says:**__ Sure. I think I need to kill some stuff tonight._

_**Culana says:**__ Haha. That's what we're here for. Everything ok?_

_**Bellena says: **__ Actually...I think it will be. Let's do this._

* * *

Before I know it, it's about 2 in the morning and the five of us have been running instance after instance just gathering stuff and killing the shit out of the bad guys. I truly did love the group that I played with and although I had a better relationship with some than others, we always had a good time. Even if we were banging our heads against the wall every once in awhile, trying harder things than we should have been.

This happened a lot. We'd start playing and seemingly all of a sudden it was some god awful early hour of the morning and I'd been up all night. I got lost in this make-believe world, surrounded by friends who had a common goal as well as a common lack of healthy respect for morning.

"Well, guys, I think that's it for me. Can't keep my eyes open any longer." I sigh into the microphone that sits in front of my face.

I swear to God, voice chat made this game so much easier. I seriously didn't have time to type shit while we were trying to run an instance.

_**Culana says:**__ Awww, bedtime already? _

I gigged at this one. Although normally we'd all be using Ventrilo, our voice chat program for running instances, and we were, Culana and I had been chatting through text in the game tonight as well. He'd messaged me about joining them for the initial run, and while we were all having so much fun, we decided to just keep going and gather up some materials, gold, and experience points. At the same time Culana and I were chatting in between shots at the bosses, or big-bad-scary-ass-enemy dudes, about all manner of things.

It started off innocently enough. We'd played together before, many times in fact. So we knew each other, but we didn't know each other all that well yet. He did, however, know that I was often hesitant about my ability with the game, as he'd had to coax me into playing or doing runs with them on more than one occasion. He and many of the other members of the guild had been playing a lot longer than I had so my confidence in my playing ability was definitely not where theirs was. My uncharacteristic jump into an already formed instance group threw him off a little bit, causing him to ask what was up with me.

And then it happened. I started babbling. Well, not babbling exactly, because I wasn't really talking, but my fingers started flying over the keys, retelling every sordid detail of my breakup with Mike. I was...resigned, I suppose would be the best way to put it. I wasn't even that upset. Somehow I think I'd dealt with my feelings over the course of the last year. So much had changed and I can't believe that I was stupid enough to think that playing a video game together was going to fix things. Even with all the yelling that we did tonight, I wasn't feeling all that bad about the whole thing. In fact, if I was being perfectly honest with myself, it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

For his part, Culana listened - or I suppose read - all my words and was a great 'ear' in this situation. He reassured me that I had said the right things and that knowing both of us, at the very least in the game, that this seemed pretty inevitable lately.

As Mike and I had played together over the end of our relationship, he'd gotten short with me in the game, often snapping at me over Ventrilo or making unnecessary comments in the group or guild chat. Funny thing was, the guild all liked me better, he just didn't realize it. In fact, he'd gotten on after leaving my place as well, and I was the one who got the invite to the group, not him.

_**Bellena says:**__ Yeah. Can't keep my eyes open any longer - everything is all blurry - makes targeting hard. _

_**Culana says:**__ That's what she said. Haha._

_**Bellena says: **__Oh, please. That was the worst. You're terrible - but I really am off to bed now. Thanks for being an ear tonight. Sorry for dumping all of that on you._

_**Culana says: **__ Oh come on, you served that one right up. I wouldn't be me if I didn't take it. And you're more than welcome. To be perfectly honest, your ex is kind of a dickbag anyway. I just never said anything cause you seemed happy and it wasn't my place. But he's an ass and you deserve better. _

_**Bellena says:**__ Thanks. You're actually not the first one to tell me that, but maybe I should start listening._

_**Culana says: **__You do that. Have a good night. Thanks for joining us tonight. We did well._

_**Bellena says: **__We really did. Thanks again. G'night._

For the first time in months, I headed to sleep with a smile on my face. Maybe James and Culana were right. Maybe I really did deserve better.

~QFL~

As the rest of the fall semester came and went, I lost myself in my schoolwork. Student teaching was coming up, and this, for all intents and purposes, was the end of my college career. Next semester I'd be coming and going from a school at the normal hours of a teacher. I would have papers to grade rather than papers to write. I would be getting up at the crack of dawn rather than rolling into bed in the wee hours of the night. I would be donning heels and dress pants instead of sweatpants and flip flops. Basically I'd be playing the best grown up I could, so I was enjoying this last bit of the "college life" as they say.

Jess and Lauren were all too happy to join me in nights of wine and general drunken antics. Whether it was watching hours of our favorite Nicholas Sparks' romantic movies, playing rounds of Apples to Apples, or creating our own karaoke parties, complete with the music of every single 90's boy band, we spent our fall semester doing what college kids do best. I think one night out at the bar summed it up best.

We walked into the bar one cool November night, ready for some karaoke and fun. Upon sliding up to the bar, we ordered drinks and the bartender quickly slid some pretty pink, if not overly sweet and strong drinks across the bar to us. We chatted with friends and interacted with the other bar patrons. We even sang along as others butchered 80's rock classics and 90's pop hits.

The drinks continued to flow as Jess was approached by a guy wearing a baseball cap and the world's ugliest sweater. I swear to God, it looked like something off of the Cosby show. Who wears those things anyway? I mean, besides Bill Cosby of course. Jess' cosmo-glasses apparently made that _the_ most attractive look in the world because her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

He bought the three of us another round of drinks and two of his friends joined our chat at the bar. It was nice, I guess. I wasn't normally one to look for guys in bars, especially when drinking, but then again, I'd been in a long-term relationship until about a month ago. Maybe this is what normal, single, twenty-something girls did while away at college, and maybe I should just enjoy it. We continued to sing and laugh and have a wonderful time. I guess I could handle this.

Jess and Mr. Baseball Cap exchanged numbers before the night was out, but this was a girls' night and none of us were bringing any guys home. I started to realize, however, that I could. If I had been so inclined, I could have given my number to someone or made out in a corner of the bar while people sang and danced around me or even brought a guy back to my room for a one-night-stand. I wasn't normally that kind of girl, but maybe that's what I needed after the long, drawn out, exasperating experience of dating Mike.

~QFL~

Getting home in the early morning hours, I hopped online once I reached my room. I'm not entirely sure why I decided I needed to play at two-thirty in the morning, but apparently my alcohol filled brain decided that even though I couldn't entirely see straight, that playing a fast moving online video game was a good idea. As soon as I logged on, a message popped up on my screen.

_**Culana says:**__ Well, well, well, someone's up late tonight..._

I smiled, despite myself. Was I seriously feeling slightly giddy over one of my guildmates being on when I got home tonight? Must be the alcohol. I don't even really know him.

_**Bellana says: **__Yep. Wernt to teh barr with my girls 2nite. Hadd a couplre tings to chek on n game b4 bed. _

_**Culana says: **__Someone's been drinking a bit...did you girls have a good time?_

_**Bellana says: **__We did. Baseball capp bought drinkss 4 us all nite. Carry-okey is loud, but funn! _

_**Culana says: **__You're funny when you're drunk. I'd ask if you wanted to run something since you're up, but I'm not sure you'd be able to target the bosses and not me. _

_**Bellana says: **__You're silly. U kno u cannt hit memb3rs of your own party._

_**Culana says: **__Very true. But I'm not sure your drunkenness wouldn't let you find a way. Get to bed...I think you need your rest. _

_**Bellana says: **__Ur probly right. G'night Cullan._

_**Culana says: **__ See! You can't even get my name right. Get some sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow. _

_**Bellana says: **__nite_

As I lay in bed that night, my brain swimming slightly from the alcohol in my system, inexplicably, my thoughts kept drifting to the teasing way that Culana was chatting with me. He made me smile. We had a nice time chatting. That wasn't why I had gotten on line that night. I wasn't hoping to get to chat with him. That wasn't why I didn't have more interest in the guys at the bar. _That wasn't it at all._

~QFL~

I woke up with a terrible hangover. The drinks that Baseball Cap was buying us were certainly strong. I wondered how Jess and Lauren were feeling this morning as I wandered into the common room of our floor. There, I found the two of them lounging on one of the sofas, heads propped on each other, eyes half closed, watching some inane infomercial on the big-screen television.

Plopping down next to them, their groans and grumbles were the only acknowledgement I got that they knew of my presence. The three of us sat sleepily on that couch for the next couple of hours, simply regaining our presence of mind.

"Ugh. I need greasy food. Bacon, pancakes, something," Jess mumbled.

"Me too. And coffee...stat. My mouth feels like cotton balls."

Lauren's response for some reason made me giggle, and then, once I started, I couldn't stop. Of course, that got the other two going as well, and soon we were falling off the couch in a heap of silly giggling. Standing, stretching, and rubbing our aching heads, we all wandered to Lauren and Jess's room to grab keys and wallets. Apparently I'd left mine in the cab and Jess had had the wherewithal to grab it for me. Funny, I didn't even remember asking whoever was on duty that night to let me into my room.

We piled into Lauren's car and headed for our favorite local greasy spoon. Diner food always seems to be the best cure for a hangover, and the best part is, they serve up the delicious breakfast goodness all day long, so it didn't matter that it was almost quarter after twelve when we arrived. We talked and laughed all through our makeshift breakfast, recounting tales of karaoke and our friend Baseball Cap. Jess informed me that apparently his name was not really Baseball Cap, but was, in fact, Garrett, according to the newly added contact in her phone and that she was going to be waiting for him to call her first. Jess definitely subscribed to the convention that the guy should make the first move.

We returned to campus, thoroughly full on bacon, eggs, and coffee early in the afternoon. Jess and Lauren were going to the mall later that day to look for dresses to wear to the Snow Ball, the school's annual end-of-fall-semester formal. I had no interest in attending the dance, especially now that I'd be going without a date, so I was skipping that particular excursion. Besides, I was still tired from the night before and the lack of sleep due to my drunkeness. I'd decided to return to my room, take a nap, and maybe spend some time reading or working on some schoolwork. Final papers were going to be due soon as the semester was winding down, and getting a jump start on that kind of work was never a bad thing in my mind.

~QFL~

I tried to nap. I really did. Naps were some of my favorite things in the world. But it just wasn't happening today. I tossed and turned for about half an hour before I finally gave up. I knew I was tired, but my mind just wouldn't give in to the temptation of sleep. I pulled out my research on assessment techniques in the secondary school classroom and tried to start organizing an outline to my final paper on alternative assessments, but I just couldn't focus. I was thinking about everything but projects and presentations at the high school level.

Sighing, I turned to my computer. Maybe just an hour or so of mindless farming for materials would help clear my head. Yeah, that'll probably do it.

Signing on, I felt a smile cross my face as a private message showed up in my chat window as soon as the game loaded.

_**Culana says: **__She's alive! How you feelin' today, rockstar?_

_**Bellena says: **__Ugh. I'm ok now. This morning was rough but bacon cures just about anything. Haha. Bacon. Cures. Get it? That's funny cause it is cured. Ok, I'm losing my mind. That wasn't funny at all and I'll just be shutting up now. _

_**Culana says: **__Haha. It was actually a little funny, but you're allowed to have an off day every now and again. You were in prime form last night when you got home._

_**Bellena says: **__Oh God! I did get on here didn't I? Did I say something terribly embarrassing? Should I just be going now because I said something stupid? _

_**Culana says: **__You couldn't type for shit but you were fine. A little silly, but fine. Don't worry about it at all. I had fun talking to your little drunk-mage self._

And so the conversation went. Something about him saying he had fun talking to me had me smiling. I couldn't help it. That made me realize I had hoped he'd be on this afternoon. And I think, maybe, that's why I couldn't concentrate on sleep or work. I wanted to talk to him again. I constantly wanted to talk to him. I didn't really know what to make of it all, but I knew I wanted to get to know him better.

We played most of the afternoon, just generally screwing around in the game, doing some quests and farming for materials. Not many from the guild were on as it was the middle of a Saturday right before the holiday season. I'm sure many people were busy with family and friends, so he and I just spent the day...together...in a sense. And we had a great time.

I was intrigued by him. As we chatted, I learned more about him. He asked questions about me as if he was actually interested in the answers. He was 26 years old, making him about four years older than me. He worked as an architect, and as such was able to work from home most days. That gave him the freedom to play at various times - late at night, mid-afternoon, even in the morning if he wanted. He loved his work and was clearly passionate about the buildings and spaces he designed. He beautifully described one building to me that he was particularly proud of, a new office space for a not for profit group that was working on cancer research. When he sent me a link to their website, which featured stunning images of his building, I was in awe. The artistic vision combined with the technical know how to put together such a space amazed me.

He had traveled extensively throughout the United States, visiting sites for building projects, as well as vacationing with family and friends. I admit that I was a tiny bit jealous, hearing of all the fabulous places he had both worked and played. Currently, he called Pittsburgh home, but oddly enough his family was originally from outside of Chicago, where I was currently enrolled in school.

He asked about school and what I was studying. He asked about my interest in teaching, and what I wanted to do with my degree. He even asked about my favorite places in Chicago. Agreeing with some, appalled by others, suggesting things I might check out in the future if I was interested.

We talked about music and some of our shared tastes. We good-naturedly ribbed each other about some of our other choices. He picked on my love of the boy-band era, and I gave him shit for his love of Garth Brooks, but hatred of country music in general. I mean, you don't get much more _country music_ than Garth Brooks.

Before I knew it, I was starving and it was late. I don't even remember where all the time went, but the harmless flirting and the laughing I was doing with my online friend were definitely welcome distractions. However, I knew, deep down, that that's all this would ever be. Flirting. Silly joking. He lived hundreds of miles away. I was just a silly college girl. He had a career and a life in Pittsburgh. Who knew where I'd end up after I had my degree and license. This could be fun and a way to get my mind off of school and stress, but that was all.

I excused myself from the game for a bit, putting up a little 'away from keyboard' message so the guild and my other friends in the game would know I'd be back, and wandered down to the student center for a late night meal. Trudging back up the steps to my room, styrofoam container filled with a burger and fries in hand, I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I planned out spending my night online with Culana. With Edward. Shit. I should get used to calling him by his name now that we'd finally exchanged them.

In the game, most players went solely by their character names, making it easier to keep things straight in group chat or during instances and raids. But with all the playing we'd been doing together lately, combined with the chatting and flirting we'd engaged in, Edward and I felt that it was only appropriate that we know each other's real first names for times when we were just talking. After all, the characters weren't talking then, _we_ were and we wanted to draw that line of distinction.

I could feel the pull drawing me back to my computer. It wasn't totally about the game anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still loved playing, and had become great friends with many of my guildmates. But it wasn't all about de-stressing by killing creatures anymore. So much of my draw to the game now was _him_.

~QFL~

The next couple of months passed in much the same way. My free time spent playing online with Edward and getting to know him even better. We'd never even met face-to-face, but I already felt like I knew him better than I knew Mike. Finals came and went. I headed back home for the winter break. Edward and I sent each other silly little vanity pets in the game as Christmas presents. Without the distraction of classes and school, I spent most of my month long break from school glued to my computer.

My in-game friends and I were spending hours every week together, running instances and raids, gathering materials, and earning in game money. We laughed, we swore, we argued, but in the end we grew to be one big group of great friends.

Spring semester started in late January and as I returned to campus, I dreaded the time I would be spending away from this new group that I felt so close to. With it being senior year, and being an education major, I was going to be spending the semester completing my student teaching. I wasn't taking classes as such, but I'd be going to work everyday. Almost like a real-live grown up. I would be working in two different schools for stints of six weeks a piece. My first placement started just a week after we arrived back on campus. I was nervous to say the least. I'd always wanted to be a teacher. From the time I was a little girl it was the only thing I'd ever wanted to do. Other kids played doctor and fireman and princess. I had a classroom set up in my basement and I would teach to my stuffed animal class. I spent birthday money on gradebooks and double-ended red and blue ink pens.

I would be spending my last semester of school finally getting to do what I'd always dreamed of. I would get up at the crack of dawn and go to work. I would spend my day surrounded by middle schoolers or high schoolers. We would talk about history and government. We would learn together, because I was sure that this learning experience was almost as much for me as it was for them.

However, I was scared. I was scared that I was going to hate it. That I wasn't going to like my dream job now that I finally was getting to do it. That first week back on campus was spent in preparations for my new teaching assignments and in killing the nerves that were trying to bubble up inside me. I spent a lot of my time online, talking through my fears with Edward. Some days I'd login to the game just to have my character sit in one of the cities doing nothing, just so I could chat with him. I found myself increasingly disappointed whenever he wasn't on.

I also spent time that first week with Jess and Lauren. Getting up at 5:00am every morning was going to take some getting used to and it definitely meant not being out at the bar on Thirsty Thursdays until all hours of the morning anymore. I had to play the grown up and I wasn't exactly sure how to do that.

My first day at my first placement, which happened to be in 8th grade social studies, was long but wonderful. I loved every second. During this first week I'd be observing my host teacher, picking up methods and tips that she used while teaching and I'd begin teaching part of her class load the following week.

In the evenings, I worked on lesson plans and materials that I'd need for the upcoming weeks as I wanted everything to be perfect. I loved every second of what I was doing and this fact only confirmed for me that I was meant to go into teaching. My only problem now was that I was spending so much time on school work that my in-game time was severely limited. I had gotten much too used to the time off of school and spending as much time online as I wanted and that option wasn't available to me anymore. Adding grading papers on top of it further restricted my free time, but this is what all my hard work had been about.

Edward, our in-game friends, and I still managed to spend time online together when we could. Everytime I logged on I was greeted with a warm hello and a welcome 'how are you?' from Edward. Even the times when I could only log on for a few minutes here or there, it was always Edward that made my evening better. It was always him that sent me to sleep with a smile on my face.

Because I was teaching, my schedule for the semester was different than most of my fellow college students. I followed the days off of the schools that I was at, rather than the vacations prescribed by the college. I was dreading being on campus pretty much alone, save for my fellow student teachers, over the school's spring break. All of my friends would be heading home or to somewhere warmer for spring break adventures that I'm sure would include bathing suits, alcohol, and stories that were not to leave the place where they happened. I would be stuck here, in still-cold Chicago, getting out of bed at 5am and going to work. It didn't seem quite fair.

One night I was lamenting my troubles with Edward during a quick instance run with some of our friends. I was whining about the fact that I'd be bored and all alone on campus. Nevermind that there were approximately 150 of us student teaching at the time and we'd all be stuck on campus. No. That didn't count. I'd be all alone.

_**Culana says: **__Awwww. Poor baby. Going to be at school all by your lonesome. Being a grown up sucks doesn't it? _

_**Bellena says: **__Oh shut it, old man. It does suck when you're getting cheated out of the usual college experience that everyone else has. It'll be nice to have it quiet here though. Might be able to get a semi-normal amount of sleep without all the yahoos around here up all night partying. _

_**Culana says:**__ That will probably be nice. I'll try not to keep you up too late with instance runs either - since you might actually be able to get some sleep. _

_**Bellena says: **__Yeah, we'll see how it goes. I'll probably be keeping myself busy on here so I'm not missing everyone so much._

_**Culana says: **__You don't have to miss me. I'll be right here for you._

As his last message popped up on the screen, I didn't know how to feel. There was a tiny bud of hope blooming in my chest that maybe he was feeling this weird pull that we seemed to have on each other as well. I often ached to talk to him. I wanted to share my day with him. We'd never even met in person, but I felt like I already had a stronger connection to him than I'd had with Mike. I know I thought it early on as well, but everyday just cemented the fact for me.

Sometime around the midway point of my first student teaching placement we'd exchanged email addresses. It was easier at times to be able to just leave him a message or have him leave one for me through email in case we wouldn't be in game. Our messages were usually short and sweet, but the incessant flirty and friendly undertone was always there.

Our guild even had an online forum for members where we could post things we needed help or advice with in the game or random thoughts, or sometimes even just funny, inappropriate jokes. On the forum, we had a section where each member could post a picture of themselves. We spent upwards of 20 hours a week together doing runs so we thought it was about time we maybe knew who we were playing with. I'll admit that after Edward and I started talking, when I first recognized that pull that I had to him, I went and checked for his picture. I was absolutely shocked at what I saw. He was incredibly handsome. Strong jawline, covered in a light coating of scruff, wild hair in an array of bronze and copper and brown hues. His eyes were green and the definition of piercing. Any attraction I had to him from our flirtations back and forth was increased tenfold when I saw the image of his physical form.

Just before spring break we exchanged phone numbers. Edward insisted it was in case I was feeling nervous about being on campus all alone over the school's break, so I could call him if I was scared. It was such a sweet gesture from him, and I couldn't totally tamp down the hope I felt that maybe he wanted to spend more time "with" me as well.

The morning of the first day of the empty campus I received Edward's first text message.

**Edward: **Hey you. Just wanted to see if the boogie man came to eat you yet.

I laughed out loud at that one. Admittedly, I was a bit nervous about the lack of bodies on campus this week, but I knew overall that our buildings were secure and that security personnel was on campus and just a phone call away. There were even about 20 other students in my building who were stuck on campus like me so it wasn't like I was totally alone.

**Bella: **Very funny, smartass. And no, no boogie men yet. I'll keep you on the alert list though. I'm perfectly safe in my room, thank you very much.

**Edward: **I'm glad to hear that. And you be sure to keep me on that alert list. I need to know if my Bella is okay.

My Bella. _My_ Bella. He said "my" Bella as if I was somehow his. Of course, this could just be a friendly gesture, but that little bloom of hope got a tiny bit bigger with that little slip. He also said he _needed_ to know that I was ok. Not that he _wanted_ to know or that he _would like_ to know, but that he needed it. Almost as if he needed me.

That idea was absolutely absurd. I'd stared at his picture enough to have it memorized, I'm slightly embarrassed to admit, and knowing what he looked like shook my foundation a little bit. There's no way that he could be as attracted to me as I was to him. There was no way he'd have seen my terrible webcam taken self portrait as anything but underwhelming.

I was lost in thought, over analyzing every word of his text message, when there was a knock at the door. _Strange_, I thought to myself. The only people to show up to my room unannounced are Jess and Lauren. And I'm not on duty. None of the RA's were since campus was pretty much empty.

* * *

**A/N: Uh oh...who do you think is at the door? I'll be back as soon as I can to let you know :) Please let me know your thoughts or theories in the form of a review. They really do make me want to write - which means you get your next chapter faster. Love you all! *hugs***

**References:**

**- Greens (chapter title) are uncommon items in the game. They usually have some sort of ability or power to help you (increased character statistics, etc.). They're usually the first enchanted items you will find. **


End file.
